LAW AND DISORDER

Republished from the February 1986 "GENERATOR & DISTRIBUTOR" Vintage Chevrolet Club of America

By Jan Eyerman

After 25 years of so of taking automobiles apart and sometimes getting them back together again, I have come to the conclusion that Murphy's Law rules everything with an iron hand, However, in a field such as antique automobile restoration the possibilities of Murphy's Law applying are almost endless. So I have put together a list of a few variations of Murphy's Law that either a friend of mine or I have discovered, such as:

GRANDPA'S LAW - Do not fix something that isn't broken.

EYERMAN'S FIRST LAW - The least accessible nut or bolt will always be stripped or frozen.

EYERMAN'S SECOND LAW - Any tool, once laid down, will never be found again.

GLENN CHILTON'S MOTOR LAW - Reassembly is never the reverse of disassembly.

LOUIE'S LAW - Giving a bolt or nut one last turn to insure tightness will always snap it off. However, failure to do so will cause it to loosen and fall off.

MARSHALL'S FIRST LAW - A given job will always require one more hand than is available in the shop, unless many extra people have been called in to help in advance. Then the job can be done single handed.

MARSHALL'S SECOND LAW - When buying a part for a particular vehicle (no matter how common a vehicle it is), that vehicle will either not appear in any parts list or be specifically excluded.

VANISHING BOLT LAW - If when removing a special, unreplaceable bolt it is dropped on a spotlessly clean garage floor, it will be heard to hit the floor and then vanish from the face of the earth.

EVERMAN'S THIRD LAW - The more unlikely a substitute part appears to be, the more likely it will fit. But the reverse is also true, the part that is obviously identical will not fit or perform correctly.

JUNKYARD LAW - Parts car that are clean and obviously quite new from a junked car are always defective. The dirtier a part is, the more likely it will work … unless you clean it.

LIQUID LAW - There will always be more fluid to drain from a car than there are containers to hold it.

LAW OF PERMANENT ATTACHMENT – In any repair, the key nut or bolt will either be of a size that no wrench in the shop will fit, or in a location that no tool available can get at.

QUICK REPAIR LAW – If a job has to get done quickly and the wrong materials are used, the fit will be perfect.

CORRECT REPAIR LAW – The more authentic and expensive the material are, no matter- how long or carefully the job is done, the fit will be poor.

PARTS HUNTING LAW (OR FLEA MARKET LAW) – After searching for a part for months and finally buying it at a Flea Market for much more than it is worth, the identical part will be found at the next vendor's booth at half the price, in better condition.